Sunday, September 16, 2012

The best and the worst in the land of the opinionated

Well, I had been avoiding posting (although I started writing several posts) because frankly I'm tired, have a to-do list a mile long and most of my thinking is consumed by either work or pregnancy.... and I thought people wouldn't be interested in reading about that.  But what do I know, maybe you do want to read about it, so here goes.

I have to say (and those of you who have been through this will chuckle in a minute) that pregnancy brings out the worst and best in people who interact with the pregnant person.  While at Lowe's I get offered multiple times not only help in finding something I need but also a: "would you like some water?"  At the MicroCenter when picking up some computer stuff for my DH that they can't seem to find, keep me waiting for an extra 20 minutes and perhaps I get a touch testy, the employee was super nice and even gave me a great discount for "all my troubles".  At the dry cleaner's I'm asked if I'm all set because I look like I'm going to burst "any minute", and when I explain that I still have a few more months to go I get asked if I'm having twins... let me just reassure you that we now have a new dry cleaner.

But the biggest thing I have found to be both the best and the worst of pregnancy is people giving me (and DH) advice.  If you are one of the people who fit in this category let me clarify.  I really appreciate and find it to be a good thing to get advice from people who know me, aka friends and family.  For example, someone I went to college with and is now a Facebook friend got me linked into Amazon Mom - this is good advice that I appreciate.  I also have no problem when someone tells me what worked for them in a non-pushy way as if saying: babies are all different, what works for one doesn't necessarily work for the other and here is what worked for mine, in case you want some more info.

On the other hand, DH's physical therapist telling him that we need to have certain sleeping arrangements for the baby, in my book is what I consider not-such-great advice.  Why?  Because DH's physical therapist doesn't know us, he sees DH twice a month (for the past 8 months) and shares his words of wisdom without having a clue what DH and I are like, what our arrangements are, etc.  And this kind of thing happens ALL THE TIME.

At first, I thought this was just one of those things, you know, like weddings - pregnancy and babies brought out the "advice" giver in people.  But slowly, I started to realize that I haven't received unsolicited advice from people outside of Colorado.  People online or on the phone don't just offer it up, during our visit to Ohio no one had any pearls of wisdom to share and in Mexico City no tips were given.  People showed interest and asked questions but didn't volunteer their opinion.  So much interest was shown that while in Ohio we did contemplate getting a t-shirt that said something like "it's a girl, she's due first week of November, no we don't have a name yet and yes, it's our first".

You may think that my opinion on advice is a touch harsh but, have you ever lived in Colorado?  People here who you don't know from Adam feel they have the right, they are honor-bound, nay that it is their duty, to share and inform you on what is best for you, especially when it comes to pregnancy and a baby.  At first, I thought this was just a "me" thing, being hormonal and whatnot - I was just seeing people in an un-kind way.  However, a recent trip with a male colleague who is from Minnesota (but has lived in Colorado for 3+ years) further supported my position when he said "people in Colorado are too opinionated, and they always feel like they need to share, when I have kids, I hope we are no longer living in Colorado".  'Nough said!

I would love to hear your stories of what advice/opinions people gave you (or your DH) during this time in your life!

2 comments:

  1. I would love to share what advice people gave me, but it's been so long, I don't remember much of it. I think I do remember the best recommendation ever, from someone at the car dealership who saw me struggling with a colicky Spencer and told me about a special baby formula, Nutramegin. Everyone else told me to use soy formula, but the proteins in the soy aren't broken down enough. I just wish I'd gotten that advice sooner so I wasn't awake for 7 hours with a screaming baby the day before I went back to work from maternity leave!

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  2. Well, at least your advice was really good stuff!!

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