Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Pregnancy Fairy

This blog post is not meant to be insensitive.  If you're trying or have tried to get pregnant and weren't or haven't been able to, I'm sorry.  This isn't meant as something to rub in your face or me being ungrateful for what has been happening and is about to happen in my life - it's me venting... so, if this upsets you, please stop reading now.

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a woman who wanted to have a baby, and one day the Pregnancy Fairy visited her and granted her this wish and they lived happily ever - WTF?!?!? Oh no!!!  The Pregnancy Fairy is a b (rhymes with witch).  Why, you might wonder... well because the Pregnancy Fairy is a lot like Rumpelstiltskin, she'll grant you the wish but it'll cost you - and dearly.  How, you ask? Well, some people have really great pregnancies and they barely have any pregnancy symptoms (you are SO lucky and I totally envy you, how did you manage to pay off the Pregnancy Fairy?).  Others have one symptom right after the other, even up to the very end they have something or other pop up.  Guess which category I fit into?
Don't let her fool you, she's an evil and mean fairy...

I like to think that I'm overall an easy-going person.  I am very organized and have to be for my job but as with everything, there comes a moment where I just say, I've organized and prepared and now I'm gonna wing it (so this makes me easy-going, not irresponsible).  I am also the opposite of DH (a perfectionist) when doing a project, say like building a garden box.  DH builds the box and leaves it unattended with me hanging around, I am so excited to start planting that I just start dumping soil into the box.  DH's reaction to this: "What are you doing?  Do you want to do it right or do you just want to dump soil and start planting and see what grows?!?!"  I stay quiet knowing that my answer being the latter is probably not the right one to give. DH: "Cause the right thing to do is to line the box with weed fabric and then start dumping soil in there", me: "oops".  But since I already "ruined" the project, might as well finish dumping the soil, plant stuff and see what grows.  If this involves weeds sprouting through I may never hear the end of it, oh well.  But, I digress.

What pregnancy has made me realize is that when I'm "winging" something, I'm normally in control of my body.  I can make my body go and go and go without feeding it for hours or taking a pee break, I can make my body push through pain to accomplish what I want.  Then comes the Pregnancy Fairy and she poops on your parade while putting the brakes on you having control of anything you might want your body to do.  I've often wondered if my attitude towards the Fairy has made things worse... or maybe (gulp), my age?

I'm tempted to list all of the many gifts the Fairy has given me but somewhere along the way that would become an over share, but I will give you a few:
              carpal tunnel syndrome
              intense vomiting and nausea lasting until I was 6 months along
              gestational diabetes
              sciatica
              swelling (especially my feet)
              extreme fatigue 
              insomnia (with random bouts of falling asleep nilly-willy in the middle of the day)   
              numbness in my hands
              atypical migraine in combination with bells palsy (which started as a possible stroke)
              skin tags
              hormonal outbursts and crying
              overexertion followed by BHC (Braxton Hicks Contractions)
              extreme exhaustion... 
              and of course who can forget the growing belly which limits and restricts many of my movements.... and.... I'll stop there.  
Although please believe I could keep going, and it doesn't get any prettier.

This week, when I am so close to my due date, the fairy showed up with yet another gift (after she gave me what seemed to be a pretty big serious present last week) - I wish just for once she'd give me a gift receipt along with it or just refrain from being so dang generous.